It's about time.

       
                            It's about time. May the dot connects backwards. 

I wonder, yet again..

It seems as though since hitting my twenties, life has beenin a constant state of flux. At the brink of adulthood, question mark that never existed suddenly began to appear everywhere, and I find myself asking whether I wanted the career, relationships and future I had planned for myself.

As per my usual ritual I began to write, hoping to sooth my insides whilst finding answers to the onslaught of the new problems. I found myself constantly changing in my mind about my conclusion; a direct reflection of the cyclical nature of life in my twenties. After trying to write this piece for over half a year, I finally decided to share my observation from the last few years. I share these with you in hopes that you’ll find comfort in knowing that this unpredictably awkward and curiously painful time in life, is  a battle we face together.

***

After finishing school, we got out into the working world with so much excitement about our newly found independent lives. Free from the institutional constraints we believed plagued us for years. We suddenly had this feeling of control over our own lives again. Our goal was just landing a spot in the chaos; something to give us a sense of belonging and autonomy in our new 9 to 5 realm. Whether it was the right fit or not, we took an opportunity when we got it, faking it till we made it and relishing in our first real pay cheque.

But it wouldn't be long before we started to see our jobs shaping us into people we never imagined to be. All those grand ideas we once had about making a real change in the world soon got lost in the mix of our busy nine to five lives. We became people p leasers, executing visions that came from somewhere high, high above. Our daily highs and lows leading us to contemplate a new direction, one which offered something fresh and exciting to complement our real personalities and reignite that fire we once had. We constantly battled with ourselves, wondering whether to stay on the path of promising and a stable future or stray for the possibility of something grander that we knew we were capable of.

It seemed like such a short time ago when our dreams were grand, and the road ahead of us looked long and bright. When we had the will to fight for anything and everything

and always allowed our curiosity to steer our lives in multiple directions. Sure we had stress, but it was a simple time, one where our every laugh and woe was shared. Our biggest worries often revolved around that horrible exam and whether pineapple would make it on the late night pizza order. Skipping class, pushing deadlines, cramming for an exam, staying out until the wee hours of the night and stumbling into class with a large class with a large cup of coffee gave us our daily thrills.

As we graduated and scattered in different directions our social lives started to shift gear. We began to witness our friends and classmates pairing off and migrating far far from the lives we once knew together. Our old friendship took new and different shapes that we were accustomed to when our lives operated side by side. Although we learned to roll with the change eventually we had to come to accept life entering yet another stage. One which would redefine our relationships and urge us to put ourselves out there again in a real way as we sought new companions to fill the gaps.

Our relationship became more real than we had ever known before. The bitter taste of heartache in our twenties still lingering, changing the way in which we approached love indefinitely. That once carefree attitude in which we allowed ourselves to live for just the moment began to lose appeal as we started to see the value more and more in having an eternal witness to our lives. Trusting our instincts was no longer enough. We screen checked the strangers in our lives hoping to put our anxiety to rest and mitigate the potential pain we feared. As we trembled in the dark on our quest to find the passion and happiness, we hoped for the best, but always prepared for the worst.

Over time we find our journey gets easier as we begin to seek signs to help us navigate through the dark with ease and confidence. We come to see that the swift change which are so definitive of our twenties are precisely what teach us how to control our emotions and conquer defeat with the kind of grace, characteristic only of life experience. The internal battles and mental abuse we so frequently imposed on ourselves lesses as we become comfortable in our new world. We take disruptions to our lives as an opportunity to learn versus obstacles to dismay us.

We learn to laugh when we fail recognizing how to embrace surprises and accepting that something everything won’t fall into place as planned. As we get into the groove of change we find ourselves taking chances even when they may cause us to bruise along the way. We allow our curiosity to be piqued with the interesting people that cross our path, appreciating the value that any stranger may offer at any point, to each use something about ourselves and the way in which we experience the world. We relish in the thrill of knowing that every night offers a new possibility in friendship, in love or just perspective. And it is this particular point; the unforeseeable future, that makes our twenties so exciting and something worth being cherished rather feared.  

Although I’ve gone through a roller coaster of emotions in the last few years, it’s  precisely this, the sporadic nature of my journey that has made it hot just any journey but my journey. We owe it to ourselves, to take the risk to hurt and to be hurt, to leap before we look, to be the fool, because by holding back we lose nothing but the opportunity to find the greatness we seek.

Being able to positively reflect on these last few years – some of the most challenging times in my life – is what makes me believe that I will look back again sometime from now, and laugh, realizing that it was all a beautiful struggle.

JokaLand Summers!!

There’s a lot I want to write, lot I want to tell the world about but cant! If I do, Joka would no longer be Joka. But still I would write, something atleast because today I am feeling like that 17 year-old teen who’s recently got the class hottie and cant help brag about it.

Joka is essentially an eastern campus, it has that sunderban rainforest feel to it: the 7 lakes, a declared bird sanctuary, a campus wonderfully amalgamated with nature. Even after 25 days at IIM-C I still stop by and take a look at the lakes, they look as beautiful as they did on the first day. And when it rains it casts an enchanting spell which nothing in this world can beat!

Coming to IIM Calcutta I too had my share of pre-conceived notions, of a place which was all about studies and intense competition amongst the best brains of the country, in essence each man for himself. I couldn’t have been more wrong, IIM Calcutta is not about the campus, not the profs, not the placements which incidentally are considered to be the best in the country, nothing, its about the people, about the student community, about Joka!

There’s this energy here, this will to make a difference, to charge, to shout out aloud. Its infectious, an unyielding spirit. We will we can.

To life, to Joka!

Just, not all about Solitude!

Away from family; away from friends..a desserted flat, in a semi desserted street (still, wondering why i didn't encountered any spirits yet..this place has to be haunted!) 

A rendezvous with solitude, in city sheilding more than 15 millions! 

Wait a min; that's just not all about it..

When you go to new places, continously travelling, You make friends easily.

You Explore everything around you, develop curiousity; new lands, customs, food, and ways of doing thing begin to draw you in

You trust stranger and, hence, strangers trust you,

You build intuitive capability of sniffing trouble--which tells you when to leave a bar!

You have low expectation from unfamiliar; hence you are more pleasantly surprised than frustrated by life's ups and downs

You build integrity, in order to survive

You learn to survive on the strenght of who you are, just for the day, today.

You become interesting person, because you have many new stories to tell.

It's doesn't clinches here. Abad & New Delhi, here I come!!

I wonder

Am searching for answers:answers to all the questions I have,all the prayers I have ever made;answers about my fate,my dreams and most importantly about my life.Often I detach myself from this world & think about all that I have and crave for.Am I complete,or am I a seeker of completeness? Am I on the right path,or do I have the same fate as of many others before me? Do I really know myself,or am I lost? Where does this journey end?Does it? Uff!Life is too complex and I am very confused!
Am searchin for answers: answer to all the questions